Posted by: fatbegonegirls | September 21, 2010

No Progress Here

I am a dreamer. A planner. A big talker. I love to look at the future and see how bright it will be…

I’m running a midnight leg of the RAGNAR, the moon my only company on a long stretch of road. I’m reveling in my accomplishment, my healthy body, my dizziless brain. I am amazing!

The reality is that I am Princess Procrastinator. The Queen of Bluster. The Empress of Beginning Tomorrow. And these lofty titles amount to absolutely zero.

I’ve been reading Teresa’s posts and am in awe of her ability to articulate her feelings in a way that is inspirational. At my most inspirational I’m waxing poetic on vomit and flatulence. You know, your standard 3rd grader stuff. Perseverance and perception… these are the things I should be thinking about!

Teresa is right, about choosing your hard. It’s all hard. I was thinking about that last night as I trudged 1 & 1/2 blocks from my parking place (in outer Mongolia) to the theater where I squeezed my fat rolls into a too tiny seat, next to a man who had staked out the arm rest as his battle ground on which stage a war, a war against my fat. He wielded his elbow confidently into my soft, squishy, overabundant cushioning and won the battle. It was hard to be fat in that moment.

So, why does that not motivate me to sweat a little?  Instead I’m drawn in by the siren song of sea salt & cracked pepper potato chips. My theory is because the chips are satisfying right now and the sweating takes days/weeks/months to bring its reward.

Like my dreams I’m all about the immediate gratification and I’m all too willing to leave the work  for tomorrow to worry about.  Shall I provide you with a current and real-life example of this attitude rearing its ugly head in Karen’s world??? Okay… on to my weight-in picture!

I’m up .4 pounds and that includes the removal of all clothing (I know, TMI).

For the second week in a row, I really didn’t change anything. I ate less fast food but made up for it with frozen pizza. I never once greeted the sunrise in my sneakers and sweatpants. I counted nary a calorie.

So what did I expect? I assure you, I expected nothing. Yet, I’m still disappointed in the result.

I am a dreamer. A planner. A big talker.

I need to ‘pick my hard’. I need to make a choice. I must stop talking and start doing without losing my dream for an awesome future.

I choose me!

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Responses

  1. I also am a big time planner. I plan the crap out of things. Then I sit on the couch and feel bad about not accomplishing much.

    WE CAN TOTALLY DO THIS, K! (You too M). I choose you too! YOU CAN DO THIS!

    • Karen, you are able to articulate in a way that is inspirational too. You inspire me. I love reading what you write and promise I will start writing soon…very soon. I’m going to make this a priority because it really is the most important thing in my life. I’m so happy I have you and Teresa to do this with me. We will succeed together!

  2. I choose you too!

  3. K–Tonight I went to the same production you talk about — so uncomfortable. Made me want to cry!


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